Growing Up


A few nights ago my oldest called me into her room. It had been about an hour after I had kissed her goodnight and turned the lights out. 

Her eyes were wet and her sweet chin quivered. 

I asked her what was going on. 

She managed to utter a quiet, "I don't want to grow up."

I snuggled up to her and held her for a while. 

We talked about growing and getting bigger. We talked about being there for each other. We talked about her sisters and how they will be her best friends forever because we are sealed to one another. We talked about all the fun we will have as she grows and changes. 

My sweet oldest girl has been through a lot of change. We have moved a lot and she has been forced to adapt to new homes, schools, friends, and situations. But even when she feels weak I know how strong she really is. 

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For our summer send-off we went up to the mountains a couple of weeks ago. To a beautiful place that you cannot even get to now that the roads have all been washed away. 

I am grateful for these times we have together with our girls in the mountains. There is little to worry about other than the occasional blister, bug bite, or some random kid stealing your hard-earned walking stick.


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These are the very best moments for my little family and I crave them. I feel like it makes us stronger. I love packing up food, driving up up up into the sky and finding pockets of treasure where we can let them run free and explore. 


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I hope we can get up there again for one last mountain fill-up before winter hits and our visits are less frequent.


I love that we have the beautiful mountains so close. Going there is therapy for our little family.

I pray my girl will remember these times and the strength of family when she is feeling alone and afraid - I hope she will always call on me to help remind her of that.


Clandestine Road said...

She sounds so resilient and thoughtful. What a beautiful and heartbreaking moment.

(Dude. Your summer kicked ass. Also, how's your knee and foot/feet?)

Alisha said...

sweet ava. always has been wise beyond her years and thoughful.

Anne said...

This made me cry. Ava and Zoie are so similar.

Hayley said...

Angela - getting better all the time. Thx for asking :)

AshDaBell said...

This made me teary eyed. Sweet little Ava. She is so full of goodness.

These pictures of your girls in the outdoors are incredible!!!

Jord said...

What a sweet conversation with a lovely growing girl. I appreciate how honest she is with her feelings and know that you're the perfect mom for her.

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