11.19.2011

A. Rose in November

So it goes like this...

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Monday the 14th of November I started having contractions just after dinner. They were mild and spaced around 15-20 min apart. We got the girls in bed and Easy and I spent the rest of the evening watching TV and eating ice cream. I wasn't sure if they were going to continue through the night, but I was very sure that I was not having Braxton Hicks. All night I tossed and turned with contractions coming every 10 minutes or so. A few times I practiced my relaxation and breathing techniques. Then from 5am on the 15th until around 7am I finally got some solid sleep on the couch.

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When I got up the contractions continued. I sent E off to work and Blondes off to school. Then I showered, did my hair and finished packing my bag. MaeMae, Roo and I spent the rest of the day organizing, watching Toy Story 3, baking cookies, and snuggling together on the couch. All day the contractions continued to come.

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Around 3:30pm I called Easy to come home. Then MaeMae and I took a walk. She gathered dandelions as I walked ever so slowly through contraction after contraction. Roo napped. When Blondes got home off the bus we got the girls all to friends' homes to stay for the night. I wasn't sure how fast this baby was going to come, but I wanted all my little chickies organized and where they needed to be before it got too late or before things really took off.

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When Easy returned from dropping off MaeMae he and I went on another walk then ate dinner - Dickies BBQ. I went light on my dinner since I have a reputation for throwing-up during labor. On our walk the contractions sped up to around 2 minutes apart and we decided it would be best to go back home and head in to the hospital.

At home E gathered everything up as I labored on the couch. Sitting or laying the contractions timed to about 6 min apart. I expressed concern about "going natural" again. I was having extreme anxiety. Roo's birth was rough for me mentally and emotionally and I didn't feel prepared to go natural again. I couldn't get my mind cleared and off the moment where I went through transition with her - it was possibly the hardest moment in my life where I felt very alone and afraid. I was tired. I was scared. Our lives have been chaotic ever since we moved to Arkansas. He called a friend who came over and assisted Easy to give me a blessing. In the blessing E gave me I became very emotional as I was reminded of the reunion I would soon have with my daughter. He told me that many were waiting for this occasion. He blessed me with strength and a clear mind. I felt grateful and loved.

6 pm. In the next few minutes we were off to the hospital. There was an accident on the freeway and it was completely backed up so we detoured and took side streets. I told E that I didn't think I was strong enough. He didn't know what to say - to encourage me to push through and go natural or encourage me to get an epidural. Being the good man he his he opted to just hold my hand and support me. Just as we arrived the rain started.

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The ER was pretty slow. We got there at 6:15. By the time we were admitted it was 6:30. If you know much about hospitals you would know that this is a very inconvenient time to arrive because it is shift-change. I knew we wouldn't be up to L&D until after 7. So we sat together in the waiting room talking and breathing.

7:10pm. We get taken up to L&D. I'm hooked to the monitors in triage. Contractions 6min apart. I'm only 3cm. Sad news after contracting for 24 hours - I'm not in active labor.

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7:30pm. My water breaks - or I think it does. I question it for a minute then I know for sure that I'm not wetting myself after a few more contractions. We call the nurse in and it is confirmed that we will be staying. We crack jokes together and enjoy those moments between contractions. I spill my ice cup more than once, demand my chapstick, and complain about the bed.

8:45pm. We move to a delivery room. IV placed.

I'm still having anxiety. Relaxing is getting more difficult with the contractions getting harder and harder to bear. I'm 4cm. I'm nervous. I'm feeling inadequate. I make the decision that has plagued me all week and I verbalize that I want an epidural. Easy is supportive. We both feel it's a good choice given the situation.

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10:15pm. The anesthesiologist comes in. I'm nervous about the epidural and about all the side effects that I've read about. I'm also nervous that he looks 17. I tell E to sit down. I sit on the side of the bed, bare my back, and stay still. What is described as a "big poke" feels like nothing and I swear he used a whole roll of tape to secure the catheter. The contractions are coming back to back. I just want him to put the medicine in the damn thing already, but he is chatting and moving ever so slowly. My toes start to tingle. 45 min later I'm feeling pretty good except an area about the size of my hand on the front of my belly isn't touched by the epidural. My legs are numb as well as my pelvis, but the pain is intense on the front of my belly and I still have to breathe a little through contractions. My left leg is especially dead.

11pm. My doctor comes in. He isn't on call but decided to come in and deliver another girl on the floor as well as myself. I'm a 7. He breaks the second bag of water around the baby and tells me to call when I start feeling "pressure." Easy holds my hand. We agree that the epidural was a good decision this time even though I can't even move or feel my left leg. It totally creeps me out if I focus on it so I try to just close my eyes and not freak out. Then I have a popsicle hoping it will settle my stomach a little.

11:30. The nurse comes in and checks me. I'm a 9. No pressure. I can't feel anything except in that annoying spot where the epidural didn't touch. But I'm able to relax finally and start dozing a little in between contractions.

11:50. Everything is ready to go. Doctor is in. Nurses are in. He says that the baby is ready to come out according to the monitor and sure enough she is right there. I don't feel any pressure, but I know how to push and am ready to meet this little girl having pushed three others out with no pain medicine to even speak of. Easy is right by my side just as he always is. I push 3 times through a contraction and her head is out. The doctor comments on her chubby little face and dark hair. Twice I push through another contraction. Shoulder out. Body out. Then I look down and see my baby.

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Her little face all scrunched up. Her long arms and legs extended. Her thick dark hair. She is out and pink as can be. She cries and is placed up on my belly where the nurse and I rub her down and suction her. Easy cuts the cord. I breathe. We did it. She stares up at me and I think of that reunion we were promised to each other earlier in the evening. We connect with each other and it is a sweet...sweet moment.

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I am so pleased with how it all turned out. Of course it wasn't the birth that I totally intended it to be, but I truly feel that it was the right birth for us. It fit our situation and circumstance so well and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I have the most beautiful little baby. Seriously. She is gorgeous! My heart has once again expanded as I feel of all the love I have to give this sweet little Rose Bud. What a gift...

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14 comments:

Kelli said...

hailey, i love your blog...(this is kelli sorensen larsen from fallon?!:)
anyway, i love birth stories. i've never read a one that hasn't given me goosebumps. i really love reading your birth stories. it's just so magical!
thanks for sharing. :)

MA said...

PERFECT! Enjoy having a baby in the home again. So happy for you guys!

Meg said...

i love her already. Can't wait to meet her! You are amazing!

Candy said...

beautiful story! beautiful baby!

congrats to you all.....you're making me baby crazy. :)

Courtney said...

Thanks for sharing all of those details, I loved reading about them. You are funny and sweet and spiritual all wrapped into one!

I'm glad she is here---it seems like yesterday you were just telling me you were pregnant!

I'll call you this week and maybe I can take your girls and give you guys a break or a nap. :)

Lori said...

You are a beautiful writer. Thanks for sharing even the tender moments. I hope I get to see you guys with your gaggle someday soon. Congrats!

Alisha said...

yep, i shed tears. i love reading your birth stories. it makes me feel so grateful to be friends with someone like you.
i can't wait to meet her. congrats!

Rachelle said...

oh hayley! you did it! she's beautiful. congrats to your little (or big) family. :)

Brenna said...

Congratulations! Oh, the photo where she is looking at you just melts me. What a beautiful story.

Spring said...

She's just gorgeous! Thanks for sharing the story! I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets totally creeped out by the completely dead leg thing!

Jord said...

What a lovely story! You have me wanting another child already. I am so glad everything went how it was supposed to go and that you made it through unscathed. You've got this for sure!

d said...

-dayna

Ali said...

so sweet. You will love having all these details especially down the road. We definitely miss you guys.

nicwoo said...

Great depiction. Honestly, that epidural choice must be made individually. every time. I'm thinking next might be my first, that is, if they have time to do it... So thanks soooo much for sharing! YOU DID IT, WAHOOOOOO!O!O!

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