3.04.2010

mother of the morning!

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on the mothering scale i'd say that i'm about a 6.

i think i do an okay job. i'm trying to teach my kids good things. i try to get them to eat good food. i want them to be responsible and likable. i read to them and play with them. i smother them with affection and praise them for their good deeds, but i'm still pretty new at this.

and sometimes i fail miserably in my role.

like this morning.

i hate the thought of it.

after a long night of baby crying (she comfortably wants to nurse all night long and i'm trying to break her of that) and a cold creeping in on me (my throat is on fire!) i stumbled into the kitchen to grab Miss Mae some milk and yes i admit that i blanked out on the couch for a minute while Sesame Street played in my ears.

in my daze i forgot about Roo laying on my bed. sleeping. and i forgot that she has been spinning on her back and rolling to her tummy for the last few days. when she begins crying i let her for a minute. or two. i'm trying to figure out if she really is crying amidst Elmo's incessant babbling. my head is a fog and i'm also trying to remember what cold medicine is acceptable to take while nursing. her crying is a little relentless though, so i go in.

but i can't find her.

you know where this is going, right?

i rip the comforter off the bed. nope. not there.

i run to the other side and yes, there she is down on the floor.

agh!


this is the moment as a mom when you hate yourself. at this moment i'm a zero.

she has a red blotch on her forehead and is pretty mad.

but immediately calms down as i cuddle her and check her pupils.

as i'm looking in her eyes she smiles - my guilt doubles. i love this baby.

so i do what a good mom would do (maybe one who is like a 9) and i kiss her sweet face, change her wet diaper, and let her comfortably nurse for as long as she pleases.

11 comments:

Amber said...

there was this one time i finally put lynz on the bed so i could finish my english paper...she was screaming and i was trying to tune her out for 15 min...after all i had a deadline, and when i finally turned around she had fallen between the bed and the dresser and scraped her little face. i don't think i've ever cried like i did that day. it felt horrible. zero for sure. but she's over it now...course she doesn't know either.

banananutmeg said...

Last night my kids were awake for an extra hour and a half because I was too lazy to put them to bed.
Then they went started to act pretty dang cute...so I pulled out the camera.
Then I decided to video.
Then I videotaped my baby as he fell backward and slammed his head on the bed.
It happens.

banananutmeg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shaunna said...

First off, you're an amazing Mommy from what I can gather! 2nd, I know the feeling! :( I was a 20 year old, 1st time Mom, and came home one day for work having to pee like no one's business! I ran in and set JD, in his baby carrier on the big coffee table that's about 2 ft (?) off the floor. I think he must have been between 4-6 months old... because as I ran to the bathroom, which honestly took me all of about 2 minutes... he had rocked himself all the way forward in that infant carrier and landed flat on his forehead, carrier and all on top of him. It was one of those slow motion moments as I walked out and saw his final rock forward that plunged him and the seat forward. Definitely a bad Mommy point to add to the board. They'll forgive us though, right?

Candy said...

I swear something like that has happened to all of us. We've all been a 'zero' mom....I know I have at least! When Jacey was 5 months old, I was holding her and bent down to get a book as I stood up, she did one of those fully body thrust movements that babies do. She literally flipped out of my arms and landed on her face a few feet from me, on the floor. Oh talk about panic and crying. We took her to the hospital and she was fine...even got to wear a darling little hospital gown.
DOn't beat yourself up. She's ok and you are a great mom!

Mrs. Nettles said...

This post is cracking me up (in the most sincere way...) London tried to carry brooks from my bed to his crib and she dropped him on his face. Its a horrid feeling. And thats why I am laughing at this super funny post. :)

ISBAM said...

Show me a mother that has never had something like that happen and I will show you a liar. I did the same thing with big sis as a baby. Forgot she would plant her feet, arch her back, and scoot herself wherever she wanted. She did a total flip off the bed. And we have a standing rule in our house to leave the gate at the top of the stairs locked so baby bro can't fall down. Big sis left it open and I looked up just in time to see him go all the way down. Totally fine, just very sad and wanted to be held for the next hour or two. Big sis felt bad, and I had to get after her 'cuz that's why we have the rule. But seriously, I was right there and should have noticed, right? I am supposedly the adult? Hate those zero moments!

Rasmussen boys and 1 girl! said...

I terrible as it feels when they fall of the bed, it happens to everyone. Everyone is right, your a great mom, and you know that when you look at her and her world lights up.

Jord said...

See, you're not alone. Everyone has a baby who has fallen/rolled/toppled off of a high surface onto the floor. It's one of those things that just happens, you learn from it, and hope it doesn't happen again, right?

sheena said...

that happened to me once.

with each kid.

it is the WORST feeling ever! ....but you are still the coolest mom I know.

Mirabel's mom said...

my daughter fell out of my bed last night... I try to make the necessary precautions by placing a large body pillow on her side, but 2 years olds can roll over those - she usually sleeps with me until my husband comes to bed; he was just a little too late last night. I felt horrible. So I held her for an hour straight while she slept safely.

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