8.13.2009

uncertainty

Photobucket

Two weeks ago we mentioned to our oldest daughter that it was time for her to visit the dentist.

Easy and I sat her down and explained what it was going to be like. How the dentist was soooo cool, how the chair would move, and how he would count her teeth and assure her that the continuous brushing was paying off. I told her how she would get a new toothbrush and probably a sticker.

Upon reading her face expression and seeing her reaction and I even pulled out the bribe:

We can get a treat afterward if you are really good.

It didn't work.

While we talked and explained away, her bottom lip quivered, her eyes welled up and she could only sob to me, "I don't want to go..."

She is unsure of change. She is cautious. She looks with wide eyes before taking the tiniest jump and well, I really love this about her. I wish I was a little more like that.

Yesterday morning as we headed out I didn't know what to expect. She still was resistant and unsure. She watched with wide eyes as the hygienist probed in my mouth. She stood and held my hand as if I was the one that needed the comforting, as if I was the one who was uncertain. The hygienist would ask her questions and she was mute. When I was finished it was her turn.

She carefully climbed into the chair, adorned the hot pink star glasses given to her, and was fully educated on all the tools that were to soon occupy her tiny mouth. She touched them with her fingers and shyly picked her poison as bubblegum while hesitantly opening wide.

I sat staring at my little girl. Holding her small hand I thought about how I used to stare at her little face all day - back when I was the only thing that existed in her tiny world. And back when I was so uncertain on how I was going to be a mother to this tiny creature that had just emerged out from my womb. Her face is still so much the same. Her fair skin and her square jaw. Her blond lashes and brows that are barely there. Somehow we have grown together. I am completely aware of her and she somehow responds to my haphazard mothering like I really know what it is that I'm doing - at least she holds my hand through it.

The hygienist finishes up and gives her a bag full of all sorts of goodies. Not only that, but she gets to pick something out of the "treasure box" for herself and she kindly asks if she can also take something for Sissy. That's my girl - always thinking of others, particularly her Sissy Bear.

On the way out I ask her what she thought of the dentist. She looks up at me, grins, and very maturely states, "Pretty cool."


Next week: Preschool.
I'm not sure that I'll ever be the same. Let the tears roll.

8 comments:

Emily said...

Oh my...I just started crying when I read this!! Not sure why...but it is a great story. Maybe it was the way you wrote it, or the fear I used to have of the dentist too:)

banananutmeg said...

Reese learned quickly to ALWAYS get a prize for sister, too. Otherwise, sister takes HER prize. Always looking after each other.
We need to do the dentist thing, too. I fear my children will bite him.

The Crew said...

so brave! I loved reading this, I just love the way they surprise us all the time. I'm convinced they grow and are ready for things so much sooner than we are. Z is only too ready to be all grown up- it's thrilling and terrifying all at the same time!

nicwoo said...

love it. little kid firsts always play into a heroic Big picture that maybe only us moms feel so deeply...

Karen and Joe said...

what a big girl!! You must be so proud!

Sarah Peterson said...

that could possibly be one of the cutest pictures EVER! She is just ridiculously cute.

tt moreno said...

how sweet that she asked for something for her sister!??? it makes my heart melt, I cant imagine yours!

Garrison Propaganda said...

i cant figure out which is cuter. your sweet post on your eldest, or the adorable black and white.

Related Posts with Thumbnails