Tonight the girls feel asleep in the car on an evening drive through the (sort-of) getto that we live by.

I thought bed time was going to be a breeze. You know, that we could just slip them into their beds and that they would not make a peep. That there would be no whimpers for milk, extra loves, cuddles, books, water, bunnies, blankets, pillows, etc.

Well, the big one was agreeable and immediately rolled over and snuggled up to her pillow as E laid her down, but

the little one....

She is a different story.

She is a tyrant at bedtime. She wants to be held just so and for just so long. It normally isn't a problem since I adore her cuddles and the smell of her sweet head and the feel of her soft skin. I try to take in how big she is as I try to remember how little she once was. It's hard to remember and I hate that I forget.

Here is the real problem though. I'm losing room on my lap. My back is achy and Three gets a little squished. Easy doesn't cut it for her as she wants the real deal. She wants Momma. So, I snuggle her, but have been cutting down on the time. It's just by a few minutes and I think that she won't notice, but she won't have it.

And she screams.


I hate it. I am exhausted and lay her down. I know that I just need to let her adjust. That she will learn. That I need to stick to the plan.

But it is hard and she is still my baby. So after the crying is done I sneak in and feel her sweet breath. I lean down over her railing (which is getting harder) and kiss her warm (and usually sweaty) head.

Because for now, this stubborn little tyrant is still my baby and I still think that she needs her Momma.


sheena said...

oh they are just so cute!!!
baby her every second you can!! she is your baby (and how did they get so big?) my baby usually ends up in our bed....I just cannot resist her!!

The Crew said...

both of mine are still up- my "no nap so we can have an early bed time" back fired and they both took extremely LATE naps!! Now they are up watching a movie with dad while I finish up the stuff I was hoping to do when they were going to be in bed so nice and early!

Ah well, that's the way it works isn't it? I agree though, baby them all you can- they really do just keep growing bigger and bigger, no matter how much we may hate it.

banananutmeg said...

It is SO tough when your belly gets too big. I literally ran out of room on my lap toward the end, and neither of us were comfortable anymore. Quincy started going up to other mom's at church to be held. It. BROKE. MY. HEART. Now she wants her snuggles back, but I do feel that I missed out on a month or so in there that I'll never get back.
SOAK them up!

ISBAM said...

I know. I know!!! Especially with the back pain. You just get to a point where it's too much, no matter how badly you want to just hold her. I did get my lap back (sort of...) and now she wants to cuddle way more than she ever did before. She really wasn't cuddly till brother came along. And i'm really ok with that. I love that your baby is a stubborn little tyrant!

Sarah Peterson said...

I love how you write the little details of life- they are so sweet and heartwarming! You have a way of capturing those moments in words- I wish I had such a talent!

Leslie said...

That is one thing that killed me after having Savannah. My girls are pretty close, as you know, so I had to spend less time cuddling with Sydney. I still try to give them cuddles, but they are handfuls and it is hard to devote long periods of individual time. I can't imagine having three right now! At least you recognize how important it is to hold your little ones while they are small. I try to remember how big they will get some day!

Karen and Joe said...

I love this story! Oh how I can so relate! except for the belly issue :)

the wife said...

YAY! i (my girls) made the blog. i'm so pumped that i can see your blog again. i'm lame-o.
side-note:on sunday jill adn i were reading adn out of the blue she says, "mom, where's hayley?". i said "home". she said, "mom, where's ava?". i said, "home". she said, "mom, where's sissy?" i said, "home". she said, "oh, yeah".

i wish we lived even closer so i could walk her across the street and see you all. now i'm getting spoiled.

Rachelle said...

oh i struggle with this, with my almost 2 yr old still being my baby. wait, she is! i am having a bit of anxiety over having another!

nicwoo said...

You speak my plight. Yanks my heartstrings. Somehow I want to be an individual mommy for each child. The End.
(And yep, I thought I could tirade about it too and it would all work my way. -We're all in this together, that's fur sho.)

smith scratch said...

Jacky is still my baby. Derek loves to remind me that he is not a baby, but I remind him that he is "my baby". The girls are super cute with their little lamps, miss you guys.

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