Items of Endearment


MaeMae loves her stuff.

Every morning it all gets unloaded from the crib into my arms. All items must come out. Blanket. Bunny. Baby. Pillow. Cup. And maybe a kitty or another baby. She hands them to me piece by piece until at last she is the only item left. She then grabs onto the railing and jumps up and down expecting me to pick her up while juggling all the stuff and then moseys down the hall blinded by the tower in her arms.

At nap time all items go back in. Blanket. Bunny. Baby. Pillow. Cup.

And back out 2 hours later.

And back in at bed time. She knows after dinner that it's time when all we say is, "Okay, lets get your stuff."

She rushes around gathering it all up again.

It reminds me of what Suzanne wrote about my E when he was Mae's age:

Whenever he gets out of bed he throws his sheet, pillow, bottle, all his blankets, and any clothes he can take off out onto the floor, then shakes and rattles the crib headboard and screams. Whenever I get him up he has to gather up all his blankets with him too, and gets so frustrated when he can's carry them all, or trips on them and staggers under them all (he has three he likes) He drags his blankets everywhere in the house and outside too. Even wants them up in the high chair with him when he eats. They are always all over the floor, and when I pick them up and throw them back in his crib he is quite distraught. He runs in and pulls them out through the bars, and screams if they are too bulky to go through.

More proof that she is just like her daddy.


No Itch


This weekend we celebrate 6 years.

I think of how we got here. The chaos in dating. The makeups and breakups. An unforgettable car ride when I learned he was planning to marry me. The day I accepted. I too would not be without him. A ring on my finger and a quick engagement.

The wedding was simple. We didn't care. A borrowed tux. Flowers straight from the LA market. Family photographers. Homemade food. Friendly advice. Everlasting covenants made.

He told me we were going on our honeymoon to a dude ranch in New Mexico. I didn't care, but wondered why I needed more than one bathing suit. Little did I know tickets were purchased for Hawaii. Neither of us had been.

And now we have these two girls that melt my heart daily. I'm so infatuated with them.

Another makes Three.

I still would not be without him.

Not a day.


a pick-me-up


This afternoon both the girls napped.

Blondie was up a 4am, so by 11 she was a little of a complete zombie
(as evidenced by the photo).

You would think that with both girls napping that I would do something totally awesome with my time. That I would do yoga, or complete a project that's been brewing in my head, or I'd curl up and read something inspiring, preferably
without nursing vocabulary.

I have no idea what I did though.

I didn't study, I didn't clean, I didn't nap and I didn't finish the laundry that Easy started this morning (thanks Honey!)

But, I did spray the chicken poop off the patio and chatted on the phone with my mom, Matt, and Alisha, but other than that...nothing.


16 weeks. Isn't my energy supposed to be back now?

Anyone know how to find it?
Why did I swear off caffeine for New Year's again?

Maybe a little Zeppelin will help.

Now that I think about it. I did wipe out the fridge after a little pickle jar catastrophe.
Yeah, that was big. Maybe it is back?


It's Coming


The heat. It's coming. I'm not ready.

It gets too sweaty, too sticky, and I don't like it one bit. Cars are ovens and as soon as you walk out the door it hits you in the face like a hair dryer on full blast. After dragging ourselves into the house there is nothing left to do but strip down and head for the pool or a cool shower. It's the only relief. Heaven to your sweat glands. But the sun is brutal with it's UV and UA and U-whatever rays. Sunscreen is packed in every bag, in the house, in the car, in the stroller. Popsicles melt right off the sticks and the radiant pavement burns the back of your legs.

When my mother came 2 years ago in July she worn a wet towel around her head the whole day. She thought she was melting. Menopause didn't help. Now she'll only come in the winter.

People say that your blood gets thinner. I don't believe it. Blood doesn't thin from heat exposure and they only claim that in the winter when it's 70 out. It's easy to state your love for the desert then. The summer is just too brutal for acclimation. Honestly. The other one I love is, "It's a dry heat." I'm telling you it doesn't matter one bit when the thermometer hits 114 in July what kind of heat it is. It's just freaking hot.

So, for the next few weeks we are taking complete advantage of the outdoors until it hits 100 and stays there. You can leave me a message - I'm good at checking them.


A Good Morning

Last Sunday while in Cali we spent the beautiful morning observing Easy's mother's newly set headstone - in our pajamas.


I couldn't help but think of how I long to meet this woman whom I have grown to love over the past 6 years and how I'm proud that my daughters have her blood and are a part of her heritage and legacy.

In hearing stories, reading her journals, watching videos, and looking through photos I can't help but admire the mother and wife that she was with her incredible faith, her compassion, and her virtue.


I think she had it all pretty well figured out.



this makes me dizzy

Last Friday morning Easy took the girls with him to California and left me here

I had clinical Saturday and would fly out to meet them that night

I was depressed about it all week

Friday morning I got a FB message to just enjoy it

So I did

At first it was so strange - going to the bathroom and sitting at the computer uninterrupted

I cleaned the house and it stayed clean

I got a pedicure

Took myself out to lunch

Rented a chick-flick and bought my own personal Ben and Jerry's

I went to Target by myself and just moseyed around then over to Good Will in search of any type of rare-find

It was nice - really nice

Then it got dark - and I ate dinner alone -watched a little TV alone - put on my movie alone

And I was sad

I missed the giggles and the bedtime kisses - I realized that the only people I really talked to were my mom and Easy (both on the phone)

I located the wooden bat

I couldn't sleep

It was awful thanks to my very vivid imagination

So many noises in the silence

Left some lights on

Finally slept

Never again




and serious.


Red 40


I bought Kool-Aid the other day for the first time in years.

I forgot that you can buy like 50 packs for a dollar. Okay, 6.

I forgot how much dye is in it. So much that kids used to dye their hair with it. Remember? Yep, good ol red 40 is the third listed ingredient. (shouldn't that stuff be illegal?)


I forgot how you add 1 whole heaping cup of sugar to it.


I almost forgot the best part - It is so freaking good!

Tomorrow - we'll have grape.


Midweek Musing

Lately I can't stop thinking about this little pooch that I'm getting with Three. It's exciting, but also depressing as my clothes aren't fitting as well and maternity clothes are well...so...maternity.

Then I look at all my favorite sites with their clothing sales and I get a little depressed thinking how I have to miss out on the season. It's not even that I shouldn't buy the stuff (because Easy wouldn't be too happy about my spending), it's that I can't due to a growing bump. Bummer. Yesterday I spotted some swimwear and it about crushed me.

I thought of what I should do. I've been taught that when you're feeling down the best thing to lift your spirit is to serve others.


I'm going to share my favorite swim finds. Hopefully you can benefit. And I'm sorry if you like your swimwear a little more racey. I'm a mom of soon to be 3 kiddos who keeps things pretty well covered up around here.




Just a few little things today.

I'm feeling rather sluggish. I need to get busy.

Today has been amazingly unproductive other than making it to story time at the library. Which, actually, is a great accomplishment. The girls and I are usually racing in to get a ticket before they run out - a half hour before it starts. Yeah, it gets my adrenaline pumping as Blondie yells, "Mommy, we have to beat those kids!" when she sees them pull into the parking lot.

Last Friday, I felt great. So great we painted the coop - a little nakie.


But today, today I am feeling the effects of all the Easter candy hanging around the house. These are the remains of the coveted Mini's that I'm so reluctant to share.


I couldn't keep my eyes open this afternoon while studying anti-infective agents for my Pharmacology Exam this Thursday. I just wanted sleep. So, that's just what the girls and I did. We slept.

And now, MaeMae is begging me for something in her own undecipherable language - pulling at my finger, getting quite desperate.

Oh, I almost forgot. Great news - I have tiny green tomatoes that were just spotted this morning - Such a beautiful sight!


Coming to Terms

Since we moved into this hole (proving my point) about 2 months ago I have had a pretty bad attitude. Nothing has worked right, we have had leaks, and rotted out sinks, dead trees, dirt and mold to scrub away, a weekend without hot water, and who could forget the flood we came home to 24 hours after moving in.

It's not all bad though. In the past month or so, this house and I have come to terms and I'm really starting to love her (I think it's a she) with all her flaws and plumbing problems included.

After all, she has this charming little fireplace and 2 sets of french doors, and a beautiful fat palm tree in back which houses (I believe) hundreds of birds.

Most afternoons are spent lounging in the backyard where we have picnics and Blondie and I watch MaeMae pester the chickens. We have to take advantage of the weather here. For once, I feel like I haven't been cheated out of spring.

Yeah, I guess it's a pretty great little house...until something breaks again.







I carted the girls to the grocery store with me this morning. We were shopping for Easter Dinner and other essentials (eggs). There are so many things I do as a mom that I swore I wouldn't do before I had kids. Like drive the grocery-cart-with-the-huge-bright-car-attached-thing. Yeah, so wasn't going to do that!

So, here I am maneuvering this contraption around all corners and sliding past other carts down the aisle. The girls squeal with delight and honk their individual horns as we dodge around the precariously stacked displays. I pray none of them will come tumbling down at my expense.

Finally, we make it to the checkout only to have Blondie recognize that she had lost a shoe. Agh! Really? Hmmm. Too bad. A $2 flip-flop isn't worth my ice cream melting.

Loud speaker:

There has been a pink thong brought to the customer service desk. If your daughter has lost her thong it can picked up in the lost and found.

I can't keep the smile off my face - imagining only what others might be:

the lady holding up little pink skivvies.

Then I hear a slightly inaudible, "No, not that kind of thong!"

Yes. My day has been made.

GM is not potty training. Last night was the first time we attempted the big girl panties. She didn't even care about them. An hour later she peed and had a bath.




it's awkward for all species



The Gardiner's had quite the weekend.


It started with last Thursday night when MaeMae bit the end off her binky while I was at class. Easy told her that since she broke it, it was gone (good thing I wasn't home I would have found my sweet baby a new one). Now, whenever she goes to bed she simply says "it broke" and dozes off with her bunny and cup. I don't think any tears have actually been shed over it. WaHoo!

Friday night Blondie burned her arm while helping me cook dinner. She (actually both the girls) have to be right there through all the preparations. She was flipping raw tortillas with the tongs on a plate and I had the bright idea to ask her to flip the one in the pan. She dropped the tongs and grabbed the tortilla with her bare hands resting her tender little wrist on the edge of the pan. I screamed - she screamed - I practiced a little wound care on her and she spent the rest of the evening cuddled in my lap whimpering until she dozed off.

I started my clinicals on Saturday morning at 6am. Our first two weeks are at a Long Term Care facility. To say the least it was an eye-opening experience. When you work at a place like this you realize how unfortunate it is that the people there don't have family to take care of them. A lot of them aren't getting all the care that they need. They are lonely. They are depressed. It is heartbreaking. We have to pass off certain skills each week. Saturday it was bathing, feeding, personal hygiene, and making beds. I was exhausted by the end of the day.

Of course, Sunday we watched conference all day. I particularly enjoyed Pres Uchtdorf's talk of the morning session. As seen here. We had a nice family walk, dinner with friends, and crashed for a great night's sleep (other than being up to use the bathroom a few times - me).


Secret Society


When Sissy naps. We play.

Please don't tell her. She'll be so disappointed!



Dethroning the Queen

Dear Mother,

I'm not at all sorry that I posted your precious car on Craigslist for April Fools.

I admit that I totally loved getting every text this morning from Catina - How you were squirming and accusing everyone but your precious daughter of the naughty deed. You even phoned me and I sweetly giggled and denied the act - saying that it was probably Shaye or Matt - but also letting you know that it was a pretty clever trick.

Bwaaa Haaahaaahaa! Heeeheeeheee.

Just getting you back for the times you woke my up at 6am on April 1st, alarming me that my pig was dead or that my dog was in the road. You told Catina this morning that her car windshield was shattered and Aunt Patty that all the chickens were out on the highway. So evil!

But you, my sweet, vile mother - I think have been dethroned - as of today.

Yours truly, H
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