Looking Up

maemae: 36 weeks, blondie: 19 months

I have always wanted my children close. I want to be a young mother and I want to be done by the time I'm 30. This has always been my plan.

When I was accepted to nursing school in November we wondered if we should put off having our kids for the time-being. I thought about it. We prayed about it....For months.

And then, we happened to drink out of the same glass of water.

Am I scared? Can we juggle it all? Three babies, nursing school, work, time together?

Oh, and I'm sure it will be tough. I'm heartbroken over leaving my precious newborn baby to go to school. I hate the idea of pumping, storing, and thawing my milk. HATE it. Nothing is better for a sweet baby than the liquid gold straight from the source.

But it's like anything, if taken one day at a time with extra love and understanding all will work out. Right? Finger's crossed? Please tell me it will work out!!!!

These hormones are killing me. At least I got the bathrooms cleaned today - and haven't thrown up for 3 days. So yeah, I guess things are looking up.


First Meetings

I felt the baby move - I told Easy this morning as he was getting ready for a (very anticipated) bike ride with his dad. Yeah right, was his reply. He never believes me. I respond to his punk attitude with a loving whatever and I catch him with a little smile. He does believe me.

I carry on eating his Birthday Apple Pie for breakfast - MaeMae sitting on the edge table begging for more of the sweet warm homemade goodness.

That first meeting is always unusual. I first met Blondie shopping in the aisle of Smith's in Provo. 16 weeks. It was just a little nudge after the never ending weeks of hanging my head over a toilet. With that nudge, I began to have the first feelings of motherhood. It's when finally all the bitchiness to my husband, sleepiness, nausea, bad skin, and constipation actually started to feel worth it.

I met MaeMae when I was only 13 weeks. Shockingly, I knew what those nudges were and they were not gas. Just my feisty little girl making herself known for the first time.

Three is softly making his/her self known. A roll here, a tiny bump there, teetering between worlds, but unmistakably saying, Hello, I am here!

It's magical.


March 26, 1980

A boy was born 29 years ago today. He was delivered on James Brown's birthday, who happened to be his grandfather and the doctor (not the man pictured).

Well, The boy grew

Squirt Gun Wars from K on Vimeo.

His mother writes:

Monday February 29, 1988. Today Eric brought home a pink slip for throwing rocks at some of his friends during lunchtime on Friday. Despite the fact that he was hit on the head by one of them, that evening he and Chad and Craig McGuire were throwing ice at passing cars, and one young lady driver stopped to complain. They were spanked for not admitting to it right away. They must also wash the cars and practice throwing a baseball back and forth during the coming weeks.

I'm afraid he's all boy, and impossible to repress. Saturday night at the Cub Scout Blue and Gold dinner (he came as a preview because he joins Cub Scouts next month) he brought a flashlight so that he could explore under the stage where they store the carts loaded with tables and chairs. On the far left side, the passageway turns to the left way under the stage towards a classroom and the stairs. There is a trap door, which when you lift up you can see some water like from the sewer. Eric and about nine other boys had fun exploring this for five or ten minutes before I called them out.
(explains why I'm a little afraid of having boys)

So, eventually this girl fell pretty hard for him.

(cue: awwwwe!)

And they made a family

Happy Birthday Eric!

Te amo (mucho).

170 bpm


The rumors are all true
Oct 13th I'm due

Yes I've been sick
Zofran's the trick

3 kids in 4 years
Might bring some ladies to tears

Me? I'm just fine
We knew it was the right time


Ballet Class


i have another list.

always a step ahead of me

I was taught to respect my elders. Open doors for them. Listen to them. Be patient with them.

I have memories of my mom taking me with her with her to visit sick and elderly women in the ward. Being the only daughter I was always her little sidekick. She always has been and still is involved in helping others. Today, I admire her love and strength. She is a beacon of service.

When I was six, I admit that trips to the nursing home with her absolutly freaked me out. The smells. The stares. Old women wanting to hold my hand, kiss my cheeks, and touch my hair.

All things I was (and still am) not comfortable with strangers doing.

Today the girls and I made a quick trip to Costco. MaeMae has been running on her last diaper for the past 2 days. Somehow we kept finding just one more in a bag, the trunk, or under the bed.

Costco shopping carts are the best because they have 2 seats in them - perfect for my girls - right? Wrong. I get Blondie in and she loves sitting up by mom. She is all smiles. Little sister is another story. She is screaming. Fighting. Arching her back and hitting her head. To avoid any unwanted attention I calmly try to contain my child and offer her raisins? a cracker? water? anything?

An assumingly sweet older woman rushes over to my aid. Great. Attention. She hands the girls a wine brochure (nice) and I think that she is going to say something sweet to my screaming child. You know, something soothing in her sweet aged voice that would calm my Mae, but instead she only begins to mock her. Yes. Mock. The lady begins to fake cry. Seriously? Are you five?

Me: I don't think that's helping.
Her: I used to do this to my day-care kids all the time. (more mock crying)
Me: Huh. Really? Did it actually help?
Her: Sure it did. It's like singing to them.

Singing? What?

I threw Miss Mae on my hip with her tear stained cheeks and blood-shot eyes and was off into the store contemplating what just occurred. Really? Did that just happen?

Adding to my uncomfortable list:

Old ladies mocking my children in public.




At the beginning of my spring break week I made a little list of the things I wanted to get done:

- coop
- pillows
- mow lawn

This is a typical list for me. Not aiming too high.

And at the end of the week, all three are done. Tomorrow I don't have lab, so we are hoping for a little Arizona day trip. We'll see how far we get.


On a seperate note, the girls and I have been talking about food and germs this week as they have caught a little bug. Blondie keeps asking, "Mommy will this food get the bugs out?" "How did the bugs get in my chest?" and telling me, "I don't want the bugs ANYmore!" MaeMae is feeling pretty good. She's just stoked that I strung her cheese for her. Yep. I go to lengths for that girl.


whine. whine. I'm a boob.

A few months ago I stubbed my baby toe. Like, I really stubbed it. Maybe broke it? It was immediately swollen and after a day it was black and blue. It hurt. For days. For weeks. Even months.

About a week ago I was shocked that this little baby actually felt better. I could manipulate it with no pain.



Then yesterday.

I run into my room. Barefoot to get my flip-flops.


Son-of-a! Agh!

Wahhh! Woe is me! Tears running down my cheeks. Incoherently swearing into my comforter.

Two little girls staring. Confused.

Now, we are back to the swelling (it's huge), and the bruising, and the pain.

It's Bliss


When E comes home early from work.


The pride in my finished project.

And warm spring evenings lying in the backyard together.



Home Tweet Home


You would not believe the speed at which these little chickies are growing.

So, I'm going to build them a coop this week. It is spring break, after all, and I need a project.


The girls and I ventured off to Home Depot this morning, a place I'm fond of as I spent 2 years working there while Easy was at BYU. The smell is so nostalgic. Blondie herself is a little Home Depot baby - she spent her life-in-utero on the forklift.

So after all my shopping and figuring, I think I'm ready to start.

I'll try make my dad proud and hopefully not hurt myself in the process.


{ little lovelies }

Hey Dirt Readers,

My friend ERica just opened her etsy shop today.

Have a look. Buy my favorite earrings. Enjoy your weekend.


to be Loved

This morning I woke up at 8:30.

It's almost unheard of, right? Unless you're my mother who brags about being able to sleep until 9 because she no longer has anyone to make breakfasts or lunch for. Your secret is out mom!

The strangest part was that the house was dead silent. I kept trying to pick up on sounds of the girls fighting, dishes crashing to the floor, or water running and splashing, but...nothing. Talk about disorientating.

After laying there about 5 minutes in complete silence I ventured out into the family room to assess any damage.

And there were my two girls. Fed. Sitting on the couch together watching John Legend on Sesame Street. All thanks to a guy who knows I'm not feeling well, had a restless night, and an exam later today.

Yes, it's good to be loved.


the Fever

It's true that we may have caught some-sort-of-little-bug around here.


I'm guessing it's the spring fever, since all we wish to do is lounge around in the back yard.


Which we can't complain about.

So, I'm forgetting about the dishes, the laundry, and studying for my 2 exams this week (okay I can't forget about the last one).

Because this is the perfect kind of sick.


New Additions


Easy and I have talked about having free-range chickens in the back yard.

Today the girls and I went out and bought 4.
I do things like that. We have an idea and the next thing we both know...it's done.

We love them already.



Sparks Fly


Easy My Love,

I admit that I'm entirely jealous of this damn pool fence.

I hate that you spend your evenings out there after work. Grinding and drilling. Hammering and anchoring. When will it ever end?

Don't get me wrong. I love that we are preventing our sweet babies from jumping in unattended, but I miss having time with you (although, I can't wait for us all to play and run carefree in our huge new backyard).

Seriously though, the grinder is getting way too much action. I've seen the way you make her light up and it's just not that fair.


Early Goodness


How to win kids (or me) over at breakfast:



  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups milk
  • 2 tablespoons stick margarine or butter, melted
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
  • 2 large eggs

  • 1. Mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in medium bowl. Stir in remaining ingredients. Beat with hand beater until smooth. 2. Lightly butter 6- to 8-inch skillet. Heat over medium heat until bubbly. 3. For each crepe, pour scant 1/4 cup batter into skillet. Immediately rotate skillet until thin film covers bottom. Cook until light brown. Run wide spatula around edge to loosen; turn and cook other side until light brown. 4. Stack crepes, placing waxed paper between each; keep covered. If desired, spread applesauce, sweetened strawberries, currant jelly or raspberry jam thinly over each warm crepe; roll up. Sprinkle with powdered sugar if desired.


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