10.22.2008

Reciprocation

Many days have I gone without a shower or lunch being too busy cleaning, feeding, wiping, reading, building, drawing...did I say wiping? It's easy to forget about myself when so focused on the children (especially when they are tiny and helpless), but there are those moments, the ones that seem to be fleeting, where my MaeMae smiles with delight upon my picking her up and where Ava will give me unrequested affection or tell me that I (not showered) am so pretty. Those moments are the most nourishing and fill my cup to the brim. These moments make it all worth it.

We had a very busy day today and I am tired. Please bear with me as I have a moment that needs saving.

Photobucket

Last night
I was putting Blondie to bed. She is so silly. She wants to cuddle up and chat with me, but I just want to sleep. She wants me to run my fingers through her hair - rub her back - touch her face, but she can't handle it and giggles, kicks the covers, and thrashes around. I'm about to regret my decision when she pleads only for more of my affections. I agree if she holds still and stays quiet. She giggles a little, but slowly relaxes as I run my fingers from forehead to chin. Over and over. Forehead to chin. I know this little face I can see it with my fingers. I have it memorized. It is beautiful. I can tell she is drifting off and I think she is finally asleep as I roll to my back. I'm thinking about Eric when I then feel tiny fingers on my forehead that move down to my chin. Forehead to chin. Over and over. I want to freeze this moment. Save it. She is nourishing me. Filling my cup. A fleeting moment. A tender mercy and it's worth it.

12 comments:

4 cute chicks said...

This is a precious little moment that I'm so glad you shared with us. Honestly, it made my heart skip a beat as I recalled similar situations with my sweet girls.

You are such a terrific mother Hayley. You should feel just as proud as you are blessed.

Kiersten Matt Ezra Eliza said...

Yes, I agree those moments make all the sacrifice so very worth while! Thank you for sharing such a sweet moment with your Ava. And that is a beautiful picture.

I agree you are such a wonderful mother.

banananutmeg said...

I'll admit it.
I cried.
I live for moments like this...thanks for sharing!

Garrison Propaganda said...

if the point of a blog isnt to reveal your utmost loves and loathes--whats the point? its for you. and i love the memory you made of your oldest babe. nothing in life will ever be more demanding. but nothing in life will ever be more rewarding.

Scooby and Jon said...

That truly is a precious moment. Thanks for sharing.

Jenni said...

Precious.

sheena said...

wow...you got me too. I LOVE this--thank you for sharing.

(i too have jonah sleep with me when robby's gone:)

Young Family said...

Awww. This made me cry. I am having such a hard couple days with Savannah teething and tantruming that I often forge the "moments" that make it worth it. Thanks, that lifted my day.

Mandy, Kelly, Jackson and Grace said...

TOO CUTE!!!

The Hyde Family said...

So sweet, I love snuggly little girls.

Whitaker Family said...

Hello Hayley, so I dont know if you remember me I met you at Alisha and Jeff's reception, I married Jermay Whitaker. Well amyways I love reading you blog(I hope that is ok). Seriously the thought of how wonderful being a mom is has been on my mind, and I seriously had a tear as I read this post. Children are so wonderful and genuine. Thanks for the great blog!

Amber said...

big sigh)
by the way...
you still get those moments when they are eight...but you won't remember what their face looked like at three or even five...but you'll know exactly how it looks right now...and when you get up you'll find that their legs are entirely too long.

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